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Gaining Insights into
Personal Biases about Writing
By Dana Wall
We all spent years in English classes listening to similar lessons over
the eight parts of speech. It only seems as if there were more! Each
year we were also drilled over the four kinds of sentences, the few
different phrases and clauses, and a dozen or so punctuation rules.
Various adults, both in school and out, indoctrinated us concerning
usage standards and violations. We didn’t all learn and remember the
same things about written and spoken language standards, however. The
result is that nearly everyone has an individual, internal list of
grammar/usage/punctuation pet peeves that seem to jump from the page or
assault the ears when read or heard. It seems true that one person’s
usage can be another person’s error.
Consider a few examples. Some refuse to acknowledge a split infinitive
as legitimate. It has existed in formal written English at least since
the time of Chaucer. Other sensibilities are confounded by the sound of
“nuculer” instead of “nuclear.” Yet many who call that mispronunciation
an error blithely say, “Warshington,” not “Washington,” and see no
problem with their own “error” in that case. “Irregardless” brings
sneers from many who remember that the standard word is “regardless.”
Some of them, however, say “Alls I know…” instead of, “All I know.”
There are writers who insist on a comma before the “and” preceding the
final item in a series. Others omit it. Some habitually join
independent clauses with a comma while those remembering that lesson
call the construction a “run on sentence.” As I said, one person’s usage
is another person’s error.
Members of workshop groups critiquing one another’s drafts are no doubt
influenced by their internalized list of personal pet peeves. Examining
that list may provide insights into one’s writing style and biases
regarding revision. The following is such a list done as a Letterman
Show “Top Ten.” It whispers secrets about the list maker while
presenting items for critiquing and revising writing.
A
Top Ten List for Revising Writing
10. Remove clichés
unless they purposely reveal language/thinking traits of those spouting
them.
9.
Remove
redundancies:
“Right now the current temperatures at this hour include…”
8.
Avoid
repeating words or phrases close together:
“She did the work herself. She asked herself why no one else had
helped, and she told herself they were less sensitive than she was
herself.”
7.
In
general, use active voice.
It is stronger than
passive: “The tickets to the game were given to me by Bob,” is weaker
(and longer) than, “Bob gave me tickets to the game.” Or, “Bob gave me
game tickets.”
6.
“All
right” is preferable to the non-standard “alright.” (“All right” is the opposite of “all wrong.”)
5.
Chop
“would.” Avoid the overuse of “would” plus a present tense verb to
form past tense. Not, “We would always sing loudly in church,” but, “We
always sang loudly in church.”
4. Consider “I”
drops. “In
my opinion, I always thought that I was being picked on by my teacher
whenever I recited in my history class.” The author is the focus to an
egotistical extent compared with, “ I believed the history teacher
picked on my recitations.” The teacher is more nearly the focus of the
revision.
3.
Join
two sentences (independent
clauses) with more than a comma. Not, “They began to scream at
the referee, he blew his whistle too often.” Use a semicolon or a comma
with a coordinating conjunction (and, or, nor, but, yet, for), or
rewrite the clauses as two sentences. “They screamed at the referee; he
blew his whistle too often.” “They screamed at the referee, for he blew
his whistle too often.” (“They screamed at the referee because he blew
his whistle too often,” needs no comma. Inverting the normal order
requires a comma, however. “Because he blew his whistle too often, they
screamed at the referee.” See next item.)
2.
Avoid
overuse of inverted word order or dependent elements as introductory
words in sentences.
“Normal word order” is so called because it is used “normally.” Not:
“Driving down the street, I admired the way my car handled. Steering
carefully through traffic, I smiled at the response. Breaking at a stop
sign, I noticed other drivers watching me in amazement. Accelerating
quickly from the intersection, I left the others in my dust.” But: “I
admired the car and, steering through traffic, smiled at the response.
Other drivers watched amazed as I braked for a stop sign, then
accelerated, leaving them behind.” The second example is twenty-eight
words compared to forty-five in the first. A happy side effect of normal
word order is that it is shorter and more vigorous than inverted order.
And the number one
item to consider when revising writing:
1. Omit needless
words. (A) Not:
“I was really amazed by the fact that he was actually listening.” But,
“I was amazed that he was listening.” Or, “I was amazed he was
listening.” Or “I was amazed he listened.” (B) Not: “Seeing a sign on
Camelback Road informing us that apartments were available for rent, we
pulled in and parked the car.” [21 words] Instead, for one example: “We
parked before an ‘Apartment For Rent’ sign on Camelback Road.” [11
words] (C) Not: “As he walked back and forth in the apartment imagining
himself outside wearing his vest, he caught a glimpse of himself in the
bathroom mirror. He paused for a moment to look at himself more
closely.” [36 words] Instead: “He paced, imagining being outside
wearing the vest, and caught a glimpse of himself in the bathroom
mirror. He paused to look more closely.” [24 words]
That is my current list. I may revise it next year.
As an exercise, make your personal top ten list of pet
peeves. Then step back and listen to the secrets the list whispers
about the English lessons you remember and your attitudes about writing.
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About the
Author
Dana
Wall is a native Iowan, an educator, writer, and speaker living with his
wife in Surprise, Arizona. Wall is the author of numerous education
articles, four booklets celebrating the sounds of four different
Midwestern states, and the humorous, book-length celebration of major
American accents, Mare Kin: The
Language We Speak Instead of English.
He
facilitated summer institutes of the Iowa Writing Project for more than
fifteen years and now teaches classes in memoir writing for senior
citizens as part of Arizona State University West’s “Lifelong Learning
Academy.”
Among
his other publication credits is a “My Turn” article in NEWSWEEK
and “Turning Point” in Readers Digest magazine. Wall is a member
of The Writers Round Table Phoenix and has an excerpt form a
novel-in-progress published in that group’s anthology, Sonoran Mirage.
Sonoran Mirage
with contributing author
Dana Wall
Mare Kin:
The Language We Speak
Instead of English
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