If the Wedgie Doesn’t Get You,

the Tight Shoes Will

An entry in the Writer’s Digest Chronicle Contest

By John Safin

Each day, I sit at my desk to fabricate a world of fantasy and illusion, or compose a factual article for a trade magazine. The claxons of telephones, beeping of faxes, and dinging of email can be ignored; simply tuned-out. And writer’s block be damned!  A constipated idea can be cured with the right relaxation techniques. Through the years I have discovered it’s not how you look, darling, it’s the way you feel. It’s the clothing that makes the writer.  

Start with your thinking cap. Take out your favorite a rhinestone cowboy hat or Speedy Gonzalez sombrero. Some deeley-bopper antennae could help direct the thought waves of aliens from Alpha Centauri to work some magic through your fingers. A stainless steel colander, I have found, to be a terrific head piece for sifting out the good ideas. Who would mind once you have (or don’t have) on your head gear? 

Then there’s the torso. Hawaiian shirt. Tie-dye. Floppy flannel. What’s your favorite shirt?  Everyone has one. That comfy, Sunday-morning-be-lazy top that makes napping oh so much fun. I have found a loose fitting golf shirt, with a missing middle button, to give me the freedom of movement to arm wrestle the most stubborn stanzas, persnickety prose and gnarly narrative to the page. 

Matching the baggy shirt is my almost baggy shorts. Almost baggy as it is a little snug around my child-bearing hips. Not bad for a guy, huh?  The all-cotton bottoms provide a breathable environment…for my cute little knees, of course.  

Well, maybe not too little. 

The final choice: Sock or sockless. The warm pocket of white cotton keeping each little piggy bathed in fabric, or the au natural sensation of wiggling toes on synthetic carpet. It’s an impromptu decision. When documenting the tales of fictional psychopaths, I become the character and wear only one sock. The other is over my hand talking to me, of course. Mr. Arr Guile and I have a unique relationship when I'm writing about the activities of a deranged mind. [Add Mad Scientist maniacal-type laughter here.] 

Inspiration and ideas for good writing are all around. When it’s time for “ready, set, write!” You should ask yourself:  What’s in your closet?

About the Author

John Safin has written non-fiction, fiction, humor, and political ravings plus acted as ghost and speech writer for top business leaders.

He has a background in business operations, marketing, public relations, event planning, recruiting, and training.

Originally from Upstate New York, John moved from Glendale, AZ to Carlsbad, NM, which he now calls "home."

www.johnsafin.com

Sonoran Mirage

with contributing author

John Safin